“Come on in,” Mellanye said with a wry smile. Halyn followed me in and I looked at Mel.
“Don’t make a fool of me,” I mumbled to Mel as I crossed the threshold.
“It’s not me you have to worry about,” she muttered back.
We entered the dining room, where Athena was laying out bowls of pork spaghetti. She saw me and I groaned. Halyn walked in behind me, her wide eyes looking over the house. We sat down.
“Rod, who’s your friend?” Athena said smugly. I glared at her as if to say ‘watch it’.
“This is Halyn. She is in the theatre club. Halyn, this is my older sister Mellanye and my younger sister Athena.”
“Nice to meet you,” she said shyly.
Athena, being bubbly as she usually is, came over and gave her a huge bear hug. “Welcome! Have a seat, have some food!” With the smile on her face, Athena looked like one of those cute anime figures in the cartoons. She reminded me of Little Italy in my favorite anime series Hetalia – cute, somewhat innocent, and loving to all. Halyn gave her a small hug back then sat down. I sat down beside her, and the girls sat across from us.
“So Halyn,” Mellanye began as I cringed, “what did our brother drag you here for?” Halyn smiled a very shy smile and looked at me. I could tell she was scared.
“She’s here to help me learn my lines for the school play. She’ll be spending a lot of time here.” Halyn looked across the room suspiciously. I followed her gaze; so did the girls. A boy the age of sixteen stood by the counter. He had black hair, with a bright purple stripe running through it. The hair reached his shoulders. His eyes were a brilliant green, much like my mothers. He wore chained jeans, an old band t that dad had supposedly gotten rid of a year ago, and a spiked collar with a padlock in the back. He reminded me of mom – everything he wore and just his mannerisms were exact replicas of hers. He looked at all of us, then went back to filling his bowl with food.
“Awww is my little brother hungry?” a hyper Athena asked. Vladymyr stopped in his tracks. He opened his mouth to speak but upon seeing Halyn, closed it again. Before he knew what was happening, Athena was speeding towards him, her arms opened in a hug. Within minutes, Vladymyr was laying on the floor, groaning from both humiliation and pain. He got back up and, as was custom, Athena patted his head and gave him a chocolate bar. He left. Athena came back over and sat down.
Halyn looked at me. “Vladymyr is really shy. Kind of like you – he doesn’t come out of his room much.” She nodded, satisfied with the answer.
Athena beamed. “He’s my favorite little brother!”
I could imagine Vladymyr blushing and grinned. “So the whole family is here,” I said nervously. Mellanye nodded.
“Well you have met 4 of the clan…wait until you meet the parents, Bree, and Autumn.” Suddenly there was a big “EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW” that rang from the table.
“Who’s Autumn?” Halyn asked shyly.
Athena spoke up. Her voice was spiteful. “Our bitch of a sister. She thinks she’s the best thing since sliced bread. More like the best thing since the bottom of Floppy’s butt, if you ask me.”
“Floppy?”
“Athena’s dog,” I explained. She nodded. “Floppy!” I called out. Suddenly a chubby brown dachshund came waddling into the dining room. “Hey boy.” I picked him up. “His name is really Shultz but we call him Floppy.”
“Awww he’s cute,” Halyn remarked as the dog looked at her, a stoned expression on its face. I chuckled and put the dog back down on the floor by my chair, where he crashed and fell over on his side.
Silence, then: “So what is Bree like?”
Mellanye grinned. “Imagine Athena here…and you have Bree. She’s our adopted sister.”
Athena nodded. “Yeah. Rough times at home…you’d think they would have treated her better.” Everyone nodded simultaneously. Suddenly she came in through the dining room door, a bowl of food in her hands. Her black hair was mussed – it looked like she had just now woken up. She wore a pair of black shorts, some fuzzy blue slippers, and a tank top that said “Argh, here there be pirates”.
“Hey Bree. This is Halyn.”
Bree looked over sleepily and sat down. “Hi. I need coffee.” Her brown eyes were pale and sunken. Athena ran into the kitchen to get her some.
“Good dreams again sis?” Mellanye asked. Bree shot her a glare.
“Mellanye!” she whined. “Not in front of Roderick.” Athena returned with the coffee.
“Look out,” I whispered to Halyn. “She gets crazy off caffeine.” And indeed she did. Athena took the coffee away from her.
“No more coffee for you.”
Bree got up as Athena walked back into the kitchen to put the mug on the counter. “But Athena…” she began.
Mellanye grinned and took a bite her pasta. “Looks like you are going to get a show today.” Halyn looked at her quizzically.
All of a sudden, from the kitchen: “STOP TOUCHING MY ASS!” Sounds came from the kitchen.
“THEN DON’T GRAB MY BOOB!”
Mellanye and I looked at each other. “Here we go again.”
I heard a pot fall to the floor, then screams from both girls.
“Knocked the food off the stove, I’d be willing to bet,” Mellanye said.
“I told you my family was crazy,” I said to Halyn. She only grinned. Mellanye cut in.
“Oh God wait until you meet mom and dad…”
Suddenly dad walked in. I groaned. He was shirtless, with a sting slapper. Halyn took full interest.
“A sting slapper? Those are hard to come by.” The room stopped. All eyes were fixed on Halyn. Dad smiled.
“You must be the Halyn we’ve heard so much about. Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too Mr. Kallow.”
Suddenly Autumn came in. “Great, another freak,” she said, noticing Halyn’s attire. I groaned. “Halyn, this is Autumn…my other sister.” Autumn turned to face Halyn, her brown hair falling in her green eyes and her pink attire clinging tightly to her small body.
Halyn tried to be polite. “Hi Autumn. Nice to meet you.” Wincing, she said, “I like your skirt.” Autumn rolled her eyes.
“You don’t have to fucking pretend that you like anything I am wearing you freakish bitch,” Autumn said smugly. I looked at her with disdain and was about to cuss her out when dad spoke for me.
“Watch your mouth Autumn Thorne Kallow, or so help me you won’t be able to sit down for a month.” She shrugged.
“Whatever dad.”
She walked out of the room, a banana and a glass of orange juice in her hand.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do with that one,” my dad said as he grabbed a bowl of pasta. I looked around. Someone was missing. I looked at dad, who was muttering something about having a vegan in the house.
“Where’s mom?” Dad blushed. Suddenly a swirl of black hair enveloped my shoulders.
“Hey Roderick. Is this Halyn?” My mom had a fresh cut on her cheek.
“Yeah. Um…mom?” I pointed to my cheek. She reached her hand up to her cheek and pulled it back. Red stained her fingertips. She blushed and ran to the bathroom. I grinned. Halyn blushed. “Why are you blushing?”
“No reason,” she said shyly, looking down at her bowl. She took a bite of pasta. “This is really good Athena.”
Athena beamed. “Thanks! It’s my own recipe but Vladdy gave me the idea.”
“Wow. Cool.” Mom came back in and grabbed a bowl of pasta.
“So Halyn, you are in theatre?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Well I appreciate you helping my son learn his lines.”
“It’s no problem Mrs. Kallow.”
Suddenly Bree called out from the other room. Athena took her bowl, excused herself from the table, and went into the living room. Suddenly dishes were everywhere and noise was increasing. We went to see what was going on. Bree and Athena were on top of Autumn, tackling and pinning her to the ground.
“GET OFF OF ME!” Autumn was yelling.
“NOT UNTIL YOU APOLOGIZE!” Bree yelled back.
The two wrestled together, Athena pulling hair from behind them. I came up to the front to watch.
“Your mother and I are going back to our room…break this up.” My dad left dragging my mother behind him. I grinned and looked on. “I really should break this up…but it feels SO right.” Suddenly all three girls stopped fighting.
“EWWWWWWWWWWWW!” Athena and Bree said at once. Autumn got up.
“For once I agree with them.” She went into her room. Then the other girls attacked me. In an instant I was sprawled on the ground with two eighteen year old girls pinning me down.
“I kind of like this!”
“EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW” They whacked me repeatedly, until Halyn was in convulsions from laughing.
“Kinky,” she said, still laughing. I looked at her oddly.
“Kinky huh? What do you know about kink?” She blushed.
“Uh…”
“Sit down and tell us what you know.” I forced her into a chair and waited for a response. When it finally came, the whole family launched into a discussion we NEVER thought we’d have – the most awkward moments of our lives.
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