Chapter 1: Caught

There I sat, sinking lower and lower in my chair, awaiting my fate. At the sound of a doorknob turning, I wrenched my head around and stared at the office door. The door opened and in walked a woman angrier than ever. Her black hair was mussed, her green eyes sunken and dark. By the wrinkles in her clothes, I could tell that she had just gotten dressed in her black clothes. A bruise sat above her left eye, and her lip was cut. She looked at me and glared, then sat down. I could tell she was mad – I knew I had done it this time. I turned back around in my seat, facing the principal. My legs felt like jell-o. If my mom didn’t kill me, my dad surely would. This was my third visit to the office this week. Not something that my parents would be proud of. I sat quiet, avoiding my mother’s harsh gaze.
“I’m sorry for dragging you down here, Mrs. Kallow,” Principal Blackthorne said as she pointed to me.
My mom sat there, exasperated. “What has he done this time?” she asked. All attention was directed at a small box on the principal’s desk. It was a small, white box that had, imprinted in black, the word “MARLBORO” on the front. On top of the box was my lighter – black, with a red dragon running up the side and the initials RBK on the bottom. My mom looked at me dumbfounded.
“Cigarettes? Really, Roderick?” I looked down, not so much ashamed of smoking as I used to be. I stayed quiet, knowing she wasn’t done. “Wait until your father hears about this. What kind of example are you setting for the others? Athena, Bree, Vladymyr, Mellanye, and especially Autumn? Honestly, I expected better of you.” I sighed. I wasn’t the youngest, not by a long shot, but I always seemed to be the screw-up.
“But Mom,” I began, “I’m eighteen! I should be able to smoke if I want to. Besides, no offense to you Principal Blackthorne, but I shouldn’t even BE here. This is my last year of school…can’t I splurge a little?” I paused, knowing I was going to get in trouble for what I was about to say next. “On top of that, you smoke! Why can’t I?” My mother looked at me with concern. There was a tint of anger in her voice as she spoke.
“Smoking is not something I am proud of Roderick. You shouldn’t be either. You have always been the troublemaker. I don’t know where you got it from. All I know is, I’m sick of this.”
“What about you?!” I shrieked. “I remember stories that dad used to tell. You’d cuss and smoke and drink and fight all the time. You want to know where I get it? What goes around comes around. You were a bad kid, and that has made me worse.”
I half-expected her to tear me limb-from-limb. Instead all she did was look at the principal and say “What’s the damage?”
My principal looked at me and said, “Well detention for 6 weeks for one thing.”
My mom looked at the principal uncertainly. “That’s all?”
“MOM!” I shrieked in alarm.
“Well he could do some community service to the school.” I looked at my mom, who was clearly enjoying this.
“What did you have in mind?” Principal Blackthorne looked at me and smiled. I shook in my chair.
“Well we are hosting a play a few months from now. We could use another stagehand. This will require him to stay after school for a few hours and come to each rehearsal. I know that is a lot of extra time – especially since he works and has a lot of homework and now detention – but I think it would help him to learn responsibility and respect.”
“That sounds good,” my mother said, smiling.
“MOM!” I said again, terrified that my mother was going to put me in the school play.
“Well hopefully he’ll get straightened out. I will have a LONG talk with his father tonight. Thanks for calling me down here Principal Blackthorne.”
“No problem. I expect your behavior to improve young man.”
With that, mother and I walked out of the school in silence. She was pissed off, I knew that much. We reached her car, a vintage black Mustang. She unlocked the door with a sharp click, glared at me and said, “In.”
I climbed into the front seat and buckled myself in. After my mom was buckled up, she looked at me. Her gaze was fierce. “Don’t EVER talk to me that way again or so help me I’ll have your father take you into the guardhouse every day for a month. You got that?” I nodded.
We drove home in silence. I burst through the door and threw my backpack on the couch. In walked my mother, still a little pissed off that I had gotten dragged to the office yet again. I walked down the hall and reached my door. Suddenly a voice appeared behind me.
“What was it for this time?” The voice was accompanied by long black hair and piercing green eyes. Those eyes were filled with concern, and reminded me of my mother’s eyes.
“Drop it Mellanye,” I said, pounding my head against my door in frustration.
She didn’t. “Roderick…” I turned on my sister sharply.
“What do you want Mel? A confession? A sense of confidence? For me to say that you were right and I was wrong?” I was freaking out. I felt a hand on my shoulder. She spun me around gently.
“Well, although that WOULD be nice…I just want to know that you are okay. It’s only been three months since the accident…and you need to vent. Come on.” Wrapping her arms around me, she brought me to her room, a black abyss of posters and cherry furniture. Mellanye, being the neat freak, always had a clean room.
I looked around. The only thing on her floor was a jacket that had fallen off of her bed. Her chair was pulled out from beneath her desk where she had been working on her homework. I sat on her bed and took a look around. It was rare that I was in Mellanye’s room. Mellanye was the eldest of all of my brothers and sisters, one of my triplets. She was always logical, and every time I saw her, she had her nose in a book. I looked at some of the books on the bookshelf across from me: Photography: How to Snap a Decent Picture, Computers and Technology, Computer Science for Dummies, Chemistry Made Simple, Calculus in the Real World, The Scientists’ Almanac. Mellanye, much like my mother, had skipped a few grades in school and was already in college. She was a triple major, again like my mother, but only on my dad’s side of interests. For some reason Mellanye had always been obsessed with logic – her majors were big ones, Computer Science, Math, and Chemistry – things that took a lot of work (she was a brainiac but still) and things that would also pay a lot of money. Even at a young age, everyone in my family knew that Mel would get far real fast.
“Sorry for the mess,” Mel said as I continued looking around. I picked the jacket up off of the floor and handed it to her.
“Mel, your room is never messy.” She hung the jacket up in her closet, then sat down on her chair.
“Okay little bro,” she started. “Vent.”
I laid down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. “I don’t know what to do Mel. I try to stay out of trouble…but I just…can’t. It’s like I’m void.”
“Well you DO get in trouble a lot,” Mel said, taking a sip of Mountain Dew.
“Not helping Sis.”
“Sorry.”
Silence.
Suddenly Mel spoke up again. “Well has anything been bothering you? Maybe there is a more logical reason.”
I blushed. There was one reason. A beautiful reason. A reason that hated my guts. She was a girl. Mellanye looked at me. I debated telling Mellanye about the girl who had stolen my heart but decided against it. I would tell her when I was ready. Instead I told her about dad.
“I think it’s dad.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Well…he and I have been having some difficulties lately.”
“This is true. But you always instigate something with him. You know dad…he is the one who controls this whole family. Even mom lets him run the household.”
“She lets him control her.”
“She’s naturally that way, Rod. You know this. You’re like her. You’re submissive too. Don’t think you can hide that. I think that is a part of why you get in so much trouble. Especially after…well you know what happened. I won’t bring it back up. But you were numb.”
“I just want to prove something Mel. I’m so sick of being the screw-up.”
“You aren’t a screw-up, Roderick.”
“I am too.”
“You sound like mom.”
“I can’t help it.”
Mellanye sighed. She looked tired. I noticed the open calculus book on her desk. I tried to change the subject. “How is school going for you? Lots of homework?” Her eyes grew wide and she let out a breath.
“I swear my calculus professor is trying to kill me. Forty calc problems and two chapters to read – JUST for that class.”
“Ouch. But you’re good at calc.”
“Not that good. What’s more we have an exam next week. I haven’t even started studying for it.”
“Why not?”
“Tons of comp homework…Computer Science is really kicking my ass. Not to mention Chemistry…Ugh…”
“Why not drop a major to a minor? Or completely?” The look she gave me made me wince.
“I’m not a quitter Roderick.”
“I know. I wasn’t implying that you were!”
“Well I can’t. Dad is already paying for the classes. Plus…I don’t want to disappoint anyone. Mom is so happy that I’m triple-majoring…Dad is really happy because I went into science fields.” I thought about this. Mom and dad were both triple-majors in college. Mom had gone into Psychology, Philosophy, and English with a minor in German studies. Dad had gone into Mechanical Engineering, Philosophy, and Anatomy and Physiology with a minor in Physics. Both of my parents were super smart overachievers, and apparently some of that had been passed along to Mellanye.
Mellanye looked at me. “So what is your punishment?”
I looked back at her. “Six weeks of detention, helping out with the school play as a stupid stagehand…plus whatever dad decides to do.” Mellanye went pale.
“Dad is going to have your ass.”
“I know.”
“Are you scared?”
“DUH! Wouldn’t you be?”
Mellanye looked at me. “Well first-off, I wouldn’t be getting in trouble. What were you even in trouble FOR anyway?”
I mumbled something under my breath. “What?” Mel asked.
Sighing, I said, “I got caught smoking in the boys’ bathroom. Happy?”
“Oh boy…Dad is NOT going to like that. He’s been trying to beat it out of mom for months.”
“Really?”
Mel nodded. “Haven’t you heard the screaming at night?”
I looked at her as if to ask her if she honestly thought I was awake during the night. She shrugged. “Guess not.” I smirked. As dysfunctional as my family could get, I loved my sister. I heard a door close and I shook. I walked to the door and listened closely.
“Dusty? I’m home!” It was my dad. I groaned. I heard my mom talking.
“Hey Sean. You need to have a little talk with your son.”
“Vladymyr?”
“No. Roderick.”
“What’s he done this time? Honestly I’ve had a really hard day at work. This is the LAST thing I need. I had to fire four people today. I’ll be working double shifts. Is he the only one in trouble or has Autumn been having attitude problems again?”
“Nope, Autumn is fine. Roderick got caught smoking in the boys’ bathroom today. I got called to the office. We’ve already decided on a punishment – the principal and I – but I thought you might want to add something else.” Silence. Then it came.
“RODERICK BRANDYN KALLOW GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!” Shaking, I looked to Mellanye. She nodded and followed me out the now-open bedroom door. We walked into the living room. Mellanye sat on the couch and I stood shaking before my father. His brown eyes met mine and for a second I thought he was going to kill me. I looked at the floor, trying to hide tears of fear, waiting for hell to break loose.
“Dusty go get me a vodka will you?” My mom headed towards the kitchen. Soon it was me and Mel and my father. I looked to Mel for encouragement. She looked more frightened than I did. Dad looked at me, then sighed. “Roderick…perhaps you can explain to me why you were brought to the office today.” His demeanor was calmer than usual, but his glaring eyes had no remorse in them at all. I gulped.
“I…um…I…” I faltered.
“That’s not good enough Roderick!” my father yelled. I trembled. My mom came back in with a shot of vodka in her hand. She handed it to my father, who downed it in one gulp. Mom took it and filled it again, this time putting it on the table. She went back into the kitchen, but dad pulled her back in. “Who has dish duty this week?”
“Athena,” my mom replied.
My father looked at me. “Dishes for two weeks.” I wanted to groan, but knew better. I hated dish duty. With a family of eight, there was a ton of dishes every night. They took about two hours to do. My dad wasn’t done. “That isn’t all.” I looked up at him thinking over and over ‘Don’t drag me to the guardhouse. Anything but the guardhouse.’ At this point, Mellanye spoke up.
“Father?” Dad looked her way.
“Yes?”
“Perhaps this is enough punishment. He already has six weeks of detention and a job as a stagehand for the school play. Dishes will only keep him up later.”
Dad looked at Mellanye with a frown, knowing that she was right. And why wouldn’t she be? She was the logical one, after all. Dad looked back to me, a trembling mass wanting to sink through the floor. He shook his head. “Sorry Mellanye, but he needs to learn his lesson. Smoking is serious business. On top of everything that you have already had as punishment, no video games for a month. And,” he paused as if he was considering whether or not to punish me further. “Guardhouse, NOW.” At this point, I was shaking. I fell to my knees.
“Please, not the guardhouse. ANYTHING but the guardhouse. I’ve already been there twice this month. My back needs to heal. PLEASE.” I was nearly in tears. The guardhouse was a terrible place. I went there every once in a while for a large offense. It was only a small shed in the backyard, but it held every whipping implement I thought possible. I hated going in there – I always got whipped by a long, sharp razor wire hanging behind the door. Then, like my mom, I would get horny from the pain. Double punishment for the same offense.
My dad looked at me. “Nope, you’re going.” He pulled me up. “DUSTY!” he called. My mother made herself visible in the room. “Yes?” she asked.
“How many licks do you think he should get?”
My mother thought for a second, then took pity on me. “No more than ten Sean.” My father looked at her. She shrugged. “He isn’t like me where he doesn’t learn his lesson. I think anywhere from five to ten would be enough. If it were me that was in trouble…I’d say differently. Roderick, go out there and take it. I’ll have Athena get out her first aid kit to bandage you up when you come back in.” I looked at my mom. She was looking at me with regret. Then I remembered what Mellanye had said: mom endured this all the time. If she could, I could too. Of course, my mother loved pain – she lived for it. And dad would give it to her. He would catch her doing something wrong or too controlling for his liking. Then he would take her back and beat her. That’s how they met – and my mom and dad have done it ever since.
Reluctantly I followed my dad out to the guardhouse. He unlocked the door and I walked inside. I stripped out of my shirt. I knew the drill. My dad grabbed the razor wire from the door and I turned around, grabbing the ropes on the opposite wall. Once I had a good grip on them, I waited. The first blow came. Hard. I cried out louder than ever before. It stung my skin and I could feel the blood trickle down my back. Another blow, another cry. After five lashes, I felt nothing. I had gone numb. Well, not completely. My mind had gone back to the girl I was crushing on. I visualized her clearly in my head: Long black hair, piercing blue eyes, pale skin – she was flawless. I frowned she hated me…but she was so incredibly beautiful. Suddenly I felt horny. I groaned. This was awful. I barely felt the last of ten lashes from the wire, then let go of the ropes I had gripped. I grabbed my shirt and met my dad near the door. Through tears I said, “I’m sorry dad.” My dad looked at me. Wrapping his arms around me, I started crying. I could feel my dad’s smile.
“It’s okay son. I didn’t want to do that…but you have to learn from your mistakes and unfortunately the best way that you learn is through lashes.” I buried my head in his shoulder. My nose itched from his shoulder-length brown hair. Slowly we walked back to the house, my back still bleeding. It could have been worse. Then I realized something – regardless of how badly I ached, I was still going to have to put up with Athena and her alcohol. That was going to be almost unbearable. My sister always used lots of alcohol when tending to wounds. She would pour it on our wounds until we didn’t feel anymore burning simply because she believed that no burning equaled no germs. I shuddered. As we approached the side door, I heard my mother shout for Athena. I reached for the door handle, and once the door was opened, came face to face with my sister.